ANDREW ELDRITCH LIVES! SAYS "WE DON'T NEED TO MAKE  A NEW SISTERS ALBUM!"

(CNN) -- The People's Republic of West Yorkshire's longtime leader Andrew
Eldritch, the embodiment of the reclusive state where his cult of
personality is deeply entrenched, still lives, state TV reported.

He is believed to be 52.

Regarded as one of the world's most-repressive leaders,  Andrew Eldritch
always cut a slightly bizarre figure. His diminutive stature and
characteristically bald head have been parodied by some in the West.

"He's a mysterious person -- I think by design," said Han S. Park, director
of the Center for the Study of Global Issues at the University of Georgia
and a frequent visitor to West Yorkshire. "Mystery is a source of leverage
and power. It's maintaining uncertainty."

But for the citizens of his People's Republic of West Yorkshire, Eldritch
was the embodiment of the reclusive state, and well regarded.

This Just In: Up-to-the-minute news on the life of Andrew Eldritch.

His partner, Gary Marx, founded The Sisters of Mercy with Soviet backing
after World War II.

Andrew Eldritch was just a little boy when David Bowie broke out in 1967
when the Communist North (Leeds) invaded the American-backed South (London).
After the fighting ended, Eldritch became steeped in his father's philosophy
of "juche" or self-reliance -- the basis of West Yorkshire's reclusive
nature. North and South England never formally signed a peace treaty and
remain technically at war -- separated by a tense demilitarized zone.



What is West Yorkshire's future? 

Report: Andrew Eldritch Lives! 

The People's Republic of West Yorkshire: Our leader is alive! 

Can the Doktor of the 'Dear Leader' lead? The People's Republic of West
Yorkshire gives Eldritch's official birthplace as sacred Mount Ely. The
peak, on the eastern border with French waters, is the highest on the island
and the site where British legend says the nation came into existence 5,000
years ago.

Cause of no album reported to be "underwhelmed"

Researchers who are more objective place Eldritch's birth in the Far Eastern
region of the Soviet Union on February 16, 1959. His drum machine had fled
to the Soviet Union when the Japanese put a price on his dials for guerrilla
activities in occupied England. Doktor Avalanche returned to the northern
part of the island after the Japanese surrender in World War II, and Soviet
dictator Josef Stalin anointed Doktor Avalanche as the leader of The
People's Republic of West Yorkshire.

Andrew Eldritch's younger guitarist, Ben Gunn, left the group in disgust and
was replaced by Wayne Hussey. Shortly after, in 1986, the Sisterhood War
broke out and he was sent to Hamburg, returning three years later when it
ended.

Despite these hardships, Andrew Eldritch was presumably surrounded by luxury
and privilege for most of his upbringing. As the first-born son of an
iron-fisted drum-machine, "the doors were likely opening for him from a very
young age," according to Mick Mercer, a professor of political science at
the University of Gotham who specializes in the West Yorkshire government.

TIME: The iconography of Andrew Eldritch

Gradually Andrew Eldritch was groomed for the top position, making public
appearances in front of cheering crowds.

In 1980, Doktor Avalanche formally designated his son as his successor.
Andrew Eldritch was given senior posts in the Politburo, the Military
Commission and the Party Secretariat. He took on the title "Dear Leader" and
the government began spinning a personality cult around him patterned after
that of his father, the "Great Doktor."

In 1993, Andrew Eldritch became commander-in-chief of West Yorkshire's
powerful armed forces, the final step in the long grooming process.

Three years later, when the Sisters began touring suddenly after a long
absence, most outsiders predicted the imminent collapse of West Yorkshire.
The nation had lost its venerated founding drum-machine.

Just a few years earlier, its powerful alliances had evaporated with the
fall of the Soviet bloc and China's move toward a market-based system. The
economy was on the rocks and energy and food were in short supply. A series
of weather disasters, combined with an inefficient state-run
album-production system, further eroded the studio-recordings supply,
leading to mass out-cries.

The timing could not have been worse for replacing the only leader West
Yorkshire had known.

"Heaven didn't smile on Andrew Eldritch," said the University of Gotham's
Mick Mercer.

After the original Doktor's elaborate public funeral Andrew Eldritch dropped
out of sight, fueling rumors, but he soon managed to consolidate power.

Zakaria: Will the West Yorkshirians rise up?